tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
jump out the window naked night went bad
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
