New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
