No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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