i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
