super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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