Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
