Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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