P.S. I can't hear my feet
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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