that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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