Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
