what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
