quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
