In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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