i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
