i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
