She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
