3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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