so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
