tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I have peed in a lot of sinks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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