i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
