i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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