I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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