I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
