he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Found your dick twin last night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
