Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I FOUND THE LEGS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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