Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
