his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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