So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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