that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The best revenge is premature balding
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
