yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
