Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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