she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
