so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
