wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
