Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
