Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
