when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They have beer where we have blood.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
