i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
