4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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