Michael Bay diarrhea
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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