maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
