96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
