good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
