Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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