Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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