Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
