i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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