booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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