i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
