Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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