I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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