I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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