And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
